Smoking tolerance level [1= very illegal 5=virtually legal]: 3.5

Legislation: Marijuana and Hashish and any related action (buying, selling, growing, smoking), are a criminal offence imposing a penalty of two months to one year in jail in addition to a fine of 56 EUR to 1680 EUR.

Law enforcement: The only time you need to be careful is getting off the ferry from Ile Des Pins or the Loyalty Islands, where police often meet the ferry and search people for weed. However, they generally target the Kanaks (indigenous people) as there is a lot of traffic from the islands to the mainland. If you look like a tourist, they probably won’t bother searching you.

There are very few police outside of the downtown area. The police are not interested in booking tourists for such petty things. Still suggest you keep your spliff out of site of the cops for obvious reasons but you should be just fine.

Where to buy marijuana: Our latest reports tell us “The best place to buy weed is at one of the many Kava bars outside the city, notably towards Kuando Beach on the peninsula outside Noumea. There will usually be some people hanging around the parked cars. Generally people only speak French. In our experience, asking the Kanaks is a waste of time, they are too paranoid about selling to tourists. The local French people might help you out, but generally don’t carry much around with them. However, they’ll point you in the direction of a Kava bar. Make sure to try some Kava! It’s a good buzz!

There are many clubs in the downtown area. It may help if you speak a little French as English is quite limited throughout this beautiful island group. Inside most clubs you will see young french guys and girls drinking and laughing away. Just buy a drink and feel free to ask around with your inquiries without problem. This is a very good start if you are looking for the green.

There are also the indigenous people of this country who grow plenty of what we love . Under the indigenous laws, they are not allowed to sell or make profit from what grows naturally. Ask a ‘villager’ for ganja and they will tell you to come with them.. They will happily roll you a nice joint which you will share with them and whoever else is around and willing. You CANNOT buy dope from these guys do don’t even ask. They happily will get you off your rocker, but you can’t buy from them. You might be lucky (like me) and they will just hand you a couple of buddlies for your smoking pleasure in the comfort of your resort but this is unlikely.

Near the casino, there are a few seaside resorts. Ask one of the ‘local’ hotel staff and they will do what they can for you.

Marijuana prices: Expect to pay 5000 cfp ($60) for an envelope with varying amounts, though generally about a quarter ounce. It’s much cheaper on the islands.

If you score weed at one of the Downtown clubs from a young snobby french kid, expect to pay around 50USD for 3 grams of weed.

Supplied by a villager in the tourist resort areas, FREE.

Marijuana brands: Local grown outdoor varieties. Not the best but not the worst either. Will more than do the job for you.

I have never seen hash there. Only dried outdoor buds. It would be rare for you to find hydro super skunk etc… in these parts as the weed just grows so freely outdoors, no one seems to bother with the risk of growing indoors.

It’s all good, basically just outdoor reared, pretty strong weed, with nice sticky buds.

More information: Just be sensible and you will get your nice smoke.

BTW – Drinks are BLOODY expensive over there in nightclubs. I mean over the top ridiculous.

Be smart, buy your alcohol at the convenience store and drink up before you go out in the evening.

Seriously, how expensive are drinks there I hear you ask?

$20USD for a single shot of Jim Beam bourbon and coke.

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